Here it is...
My unanticipated, not awaited, and soon to be forgotten comedy blog! It warms the cock of my cockles for you to be reading this. Surely, in a number of years, I will go down as one of the greatest bloggers of all time along with Danny "Duplex" Gilbert, McDaul Wilson, and that guy who pretended to be a Iranian lesbian activista. So, pat yourself on the back, give yourself a hug, bend over and let your neighbor touch your taint, and revel in the fact that you are a part of internet history so momentous that people won't even be talking about this after their 30 second post masturbation shame session!!
Anyhow, I am dedicating this blog to my longer form comic pieces, those things which cannot be defined in 140 characters or in pictures of people giving their friends a pair Arabian sun-goggles. These things may be obtuse, they may be confusing, they may cause localized temporal disturbances (fucking chrontion particles!), hell, I don't even know what's going to happen!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_fictional_elements,_materials,_isotopes_and_atomic_particles
So, I exhort you! Use your mind's eye; imagine I am serenading you, I saunter over to you, jingling my janky man bits as I walk. I press my excessive belly hair up against your face, the hairs are all up in your nose. You are disgusted, but intrigued as the mellifluous melodies of this one Adema/Lana Del Rey mash-up my cousin made escape my lips. You are overwhelmed and think that perhaps you have somehow been written into a terrible piece of fan fiction. YOU HAVE! You whisper "take me" into the fleshy abyss of my bellybutton, it seems to echo for an eternity. Still entranced by my manly lint pit, I grab you by the shoulders and sit in your lap, my bony butt causing you significant pain. I lean down and whisper in your ear "it's all a metaphor for comedy, bro."
Follow me on twitter @ChrisBlex
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